Change is in the air. I can smell it. New beginnings and new surroundings. I woke up yesterday feeling on top of the world and as I played Florence and the Machine on my ipod, I was basically skipping to uni. My body was rattled however at 12:30pm when my phone rang with an unexpected number flashing at me. I sat there staring at it for a few seconds screaming in my head, Why? Fuck! Panic! And then, my day was all about butterflies in the stomach and shaking hands. But for some reason, that didn't alter my mood. I was still skipping, only now I was hiding the fact I was on the verge of projectile vomiting. It wasn't just that phone call that had my nerves all tangled in a bow, I had my first oral presentation in Screen class and I was more terrified of speaking in front of everyone than having my head chopped off. Decapataion was more appealing, something wasn't right. Even though I was prepared and had read over and over every word I had written I then realized that this was the first time I had to read out my writing and I was fucking shitting myself. My time came to face the class and even though I read well and clear, I'm pretty sure I looked like Michael J Fox up there shaking so badly. Even though I got great feedback I still couldn't contain my anxious gut feeling, not until it was bed time. Am I really that easily rattled? one confusing yet nice phone call and an oral presentation and I'm fucked for the rest of the day? Isn't there medication for this. I guess there's weed but I'm not really keen on being that stoner chick who hangs out at skate parks. I guess in time my confidence will conquer these sorts of situations. And less coffee.
