Office Spaceheads.

People are being strange today. I've been people watching and I've realised that the people I work with are weirdos. To put it simply. First there's Matt. He grabs his individual packaged yoplait yoghurt from the fridge and then instead of going back to his desk to relax and enjoy his dairy product, he leans against the kitchen wall and rapidly shoves spoon after spoon into his mouth until it's all gone within 1 minute. Why the rush Matt? Why? Then we have Glenn. Who is one of the bosses, earns good money and loves coffee. However, instead of either buying a fancy mug or using one that is provided here at the office, he insists on using a tiny, white plastic cup. Firstly, that's gotta get hot to hold and secondly, you're not camping Glenn. Then there's Joanne. Twice today I have noticed that when she enters the bathroom she flushes the first toilet but then uses the second one. What the fuck??? Way to waste water Joanne. I know I'm probably just as strange for noticing such behaviour but my work is boring and these weirdies are keeping me entertained.

Tyler Ward.

This past weekend I went to Parklife. I can't remember a time I wasn't dancing or being rubbed up against by wanker guys with no shirts on and girls with way too much fake tan. We arrived around 3pm and decided to watch Busy P (or is it Busy D? I don't know dj's. forgive me) As I scanned the crowd of already wasted 20 something's, who should catch my eye but my grade 9/10 high school crush! I couldn't believe my eyes. There he was. Tyler Ward. It's been almost 5 years since I last ventured back to my hometown in northern Queensland and I had no intention of ever revisiting. And there was my past revisiting me here in Melbourne. I hesitated at first to walk up to him to say hello. I mean, I was obsessed with this guy and he wanted nothing to do with me! But the breakfast champagne I drank gave me that much needed confidence so I strolled up and was all like "Oh hey Tyler Ward". Thankfully he "hey'd" me back and actually remembered who I was.

Here's the back story on Tyler Ward. He was THE coolest dude in school. He moved to Moranbah from Adelaide when he was around 15 but for some unknown reason he had to be put back two grades. He played AFL and was obsessed with Nelly. That's all I knew about him. That, and that he was a total babe. I would sit in my room and memorise all the lyrics to every Nelly song. Even to this day I could rap "Ride Wit Me" to you. I tried to find a diary entry or a classroom note to showcase my love for Tyler Ward but seems I didn't keep any. Strange, because back then when I had a crush everyone knew about it. I let the whole school yard know my yearning for the poor guy. No wonder he ran for the hills. So long story short, Tyler Ward never accepted my love and I eventually moved onto some other poor sucker.

Jump to October 3rd 2009 and there we were again. Only now, he's a man and somewhat rounder. He's lost his boyish charm but that still didn't stop me from getting the slight butterflies while talking to him. He still lives in Moranbah doing god knows what and couldn't be any more sheltered. With a can of Bundy Rum in his hand he glanced around the crowd and said, "These birds have some weird get up hey". Erm, Tyler Ward, did I just hear you say "get up"? Yep, any one wearing anything other than board shorts and a Billabong shirt was fascinating. Bless him. We didn't speak for very long and to be honest, he was very polite and sweet. I'm still happy I didn't stay and marry him like I wanted to back then though. I'd be bare foot and pregnant humming Nelly's latest hit no doubt.