the week that was....

Just a few snap shots of the past week. From Monday to Friday I was busy having play dates with the ladies. Having Jenni down from QLD was exactly what I needed. A taste of home to pull my feet back to the ground and remind me of the dear friends I have.  On Wednesday we went to the Night Markets (as usual) and were treated to a most amazing performance from the Victorian Police Force. Band name, Code One. I have never been happier to witness such a thing and now there is no way I can take the police seriously. Especially after they sang Lady GaGa's 'Just Dance'.  They certainly knew how to draw in a crowd. From old drunk men to innocent old grandmas the whole crowd loved them. Thursday night my parents arrived. Once they were asleep,  Jenni and I met Charlie at Carlton Club and strangely enough it was Hawaiian themed. I honestly had the intention of only have one beer and then leaving but true to character I was there until 3am drapped in a Hawaiian lay. Work the next day was torturous but the excitment for Friday night got me through. A bunch of friends came over to meet the folks and then we headed to Ding Dong to see a friends band, Reptiles, play. Then it was off to Carlton Club (again) but this time it was actually only for one drink. A new friend of mine was at a party being held for some dude from Triple J.. Possibly the best fun I've had out in ages! To get out of the usual 'scene' and hang out with new friends is exactly what I've been craving. I wish I remembered I had my camera on me to take more photos of that night. Staying at my friends instead of going home was both a great and bad idea. I knew mum and dad would wake up early and wonder where I was so I caught a cab at 6:30am. But it was too late. Jenni had my keys so I had to knock on the door only for my mother to answer and see me holding my heels and looking like trash. Good morning Mother! Class A. She laughed and I dragged myself up to bed. I spent the rest of the weekend with mum and dad doing practically nothing. Which was the downside to a wonderful week.

And now a new week begins and to be honest, I'm feeling a little down. On Thursday I'm loosing my Charles to Europe for 7 weeks. What will I do without my dear wife? If only I could go travelling with her, it would do me a world of good. I am enjoying Melbourne a lot more lately but I still wouldn't mind frolicking around Europe.  Again Facebook got me down, only for a minute or so. I really should click that delete button and be done with it. Or learn how to deal with that little flicker of anger that washes over me almost instantly. It really is a character flaw.

So I hope the next following weeks are filled with more adventures with new and old friends. Things really do have the capability of being super exciting right now. Fingers crossed.

I could eat you up I love you so....

from one thing to the next.

After a few weekends in, hiding away at Tivoli Place, I had my first socially busy weekend out. Saturday morning breakfast with my friend Thomas, which fuelled my desire to move to NYC as he told stories about Jay-Z and Brooklyn living,  followed by an afternoon at Blackbird Markets drinking beer and watching Frankie's band. Then it was off to Charlie's to give her a much needed cuddle, she was sufferring from self inflicted pain caused by a massive night out and the only thing to fix that was burgers and episodes of Full House. We eventually left the Tanner household and headed over to Alex's to warm his house. There I made an instant friend. A gay guy grabbed me and said, "Let's be friends tonight! I can tell I'm going to like you!". Wow. Thanks dude. So for the next 3 hours we were best friends until I hailed a cab alone and made my way to Carlton Club. That's when the night gets hazy and I stumbled out of Pony at 6am. Classy. I did manage to sneak in some sleep before having to get up and head to Thomas' picinc in the Botanical Gardens. My lovely house wife Charlie made potato salad and caramel slice and we spent the afternoon making daisy chains and eating treats with some new and old friends. After all that I eventually passed out on the couch for a few hours but not before eating so many salt and vinegar chips that I burnt my tongue on flavour. Yuck!

As the year comes to a close, things are finally starting to look bright again. This week may just top the last. My best friend from QLD arrived last night so I can't wait to show her around and then on Thursday my parents arrive and are staying with me over the weekend. I'm feeling a little nervous/strange about having my parents stay with me. I have plans on Friday night and actually asked my mother for permission to go out. What the fuck!? My mum has never been strict and I don't think I ever asked for permission to go out when I was 16 so don't ask me why I'm doing it now. I just won't be able to stay at Pony until 6am and arrive home as they're waking up. That is one thing no parent needs to witness.

You Suck.

This is no time to be writing a blog post. It's 2am and I am beyond being able to fall asleep due to a million thoughts racing through my head. This is also no time to jump on Facebook. My lack of sleep these days is no help for me to think rationally and I am this close to becoming passive aggressive via status update. Just like back in the days in the school yard when you'd shout petty things to your nemesis just to hit em' where it hurts even though it's completely immature.Sometimes you gotta take the high road. So what are my options? Log out of Facebook? Delete a few people? Sign out of Blogspot? Turn computer off? GO TO SLEEP? Because even though I'm tossing and turning in bed over thinking everything that has gone wrong and I'm becoming increasingly delirious and mad, I really shouldn't be writing publicly in this state, even if it makes me feel better. But then again, who cares? I'm not one to bottle my feelings up and being such an open person is a dangerous trait. I'll tell a stranger all my secrets. Instant trust could one day be my downfall. But so is Facebook yet I keep going back. Addiction is a bitch.

I fell asleep on the couch tonight while watching a Spanish zombie film yet I am unable to fall asleep in the quiet of my own bedroom. Seems the sound of Spanish zombies on a killing spree is a lot more soothing than any thoughts running through my head. Awesome.

Heart of Glass

We were at the Night Markets Wednesday night and even though I'm poor I decided to try on a dress at a vintage clothing stall. The dressing room was ridiculous, it was beyond practical and while I was trying to lift the dress off over my head I managed to pull almost every muscle in my upper body. Death by vintage clothing. I stumbled out trying to shake the pain off and had a whinge to Charlie, her response, "You are made of glass Jen! So bloody delicate!". That night at another location, proved that statement to be true but this time it wasn't in a  physical sense. I don't want to waste my time writing about the events that took place, I couldn't even explain what happened even if I tried. None of it made sense yet all of it was more hurtful than ever before. Shattered into a million pieces after each hateful word was spat at me. It's okay, I hate you right back. Passionately in love turned passionately into hate. 

So I'm back at my not-so-secret hide out, Tivoli Place, leaving only to get food not even to go to work. It's my home away from home yet it feels more like home than anywhere else in the world. Time to figure out what I'm going to do, how am I able to better such a fucked up situation? I honestly don't know yet. I guess first realise that even though it sucks and it's sad, it really isn't that bad in the big scheme of things. Yeah sure I never anticipated it to be like this but I am responsible for my own happiness. You've tried to take everything else away from me but I'll be damned if you try to steal that as well. I may be made of glass right now but one of these days I'll be stronger.

anger mgmt.

Jo read my last post and burst into hysterics. She understood my irrational anger and I'm glad she laughed because then I laughed to and then suddenly the day didn't seem that bad. And it truely wasn't but I put myself in a state of pure anger that I couldn't/didn't want to get out of. I'm not usually an angry person, I can be impatient and sometimes sad but not usually angry. And if it is anger, then it's irrational anger. The best kind.

So I got to thinking about some of the things that set off my irrational anger fits. I can't stand hearing people eat loudly. Hannah is a chronice lip slapper when she eats, so much so that once at the dinner table, in her mother's house, that I was a guest at, I whipered to her like I was her mother, "Hannah, please eat with your mouth closed". Turns out I'm a shit whiperer and the whole table heard, thank god they thought I was being funny. But I wasn't, I was being serious. But my number one loudest eater would be Marcus. During a dvd his favourite treat of choice was a bag of original flavoured chips and my god he ate them loudly. My madness for this was of another kind and I would either dart him death stares or pause the dvd. The poor guy then started to slowly insert each chip and carefully crunch his teeth down. This took the madness away since it was the funniest thing to witness but I'm pretty certain I gave him a complex for eating chips.

I get mad sometimes when I'm at my desk listening to my ipod, daydreaming away and the lady next to me tries to get my attention. So I pause my song and she tells me that one of her legs is shorter than the other or asks me if I have ever cooked a roast. Really? Was that worth me pausing Jay-Z? In the middle of me getting all Brooklyn Gangster, I really don't need to know that your body is completely unbalanced. Irrational. Anger.

I'm trying to think of other things that set off my irrational anger. Nothing else is coming to mind. See, I'm not really an angry person. Just keep your mouth shut when eating and if you see my headphones in, don't interrupt me. Jokes. Jokes. Jokes.